[Rabbit music. WHITE RABBIT comes out of the fireplace and walks about the room hurriedly. He wears a checked coat, carries white kid gloves in one hand, a fan in the other and takes out his watch to look at it anxiously.]

WHITE RABBIT
Oh the Duchess! the Duchess! Oh! won’t she be savage if I’ve kept her waiting!

ALICE

I’ve never seen a rabbit with a vest and a watch! And a vest pocket! If you please,
sir—

WHITE RABBIT
Oh!
[He drops fan and gloves in fright and dashes out in a gust of wind. ALICE picks up the fan and playfully puts on the gloves. The doorway curtain flaps in the breeze and a shawl flies in.]

ALICE
[Catches the shawl and looks about for the owner; then meets the WHITE QUEEN.]
I’m very glad I happened to be in the way.

WHITE QUEEN
[Runs in wildly, both arms stretched out wide as if she were flying, and cries in a helpless frightened way.]
Bread-and-butter, bread-and-butter.

ALICE
Am I addressing the White Queen? Dear me, what a state your hair is in!

WHITE QUEEN
The brush has got entangled in it! And I lost the comb yesterday.

ALICE
[Takes out the brush and arranges the QUEEN’S hair.]
You look better now! But really you should have a maid!

WHITE QUEEN
I’ll pay you two pence a week and jam every other day.

ALICE
[Who cannot help laughing.] I don’t want you to hire me—and I don’t care for jam.

WHITE QUEEN
It’s very good jam.

ALICE
Well, I don’t want any today, at any rate.

WHITE QUEEN
You couldn’t have it if you did want it. The rule is, jam tomorrow and jam yesterday—but never jam today.

ALICE
It must come sometimes to “jam today.”

WHITE QUEEN
No, it can’t, it’s jam every other day; today isn’t any other day, you know.

ALICE
I don’t understand you, it’s dreadfully confusing!

WHITE QUEEN
That’s the effect of living backwards, it always makes one a little giddy at first—

ALICE

Living backwards! I never heard of such a thing!

WHITE QUEEN
But there’s one great advantage in it—that one’s memory works both ways.

ALICE
I’m sure mine only works one way. I can’t remember things before they happen.

WHITE QUEEN
It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backwards.

ALICE
What sort of things do you remember best?

WHITE QUEEN
Oh, things that happened the week after next. For instance now:
[She sticks a bandage on her finger, screams like an engine whistle, and shakes her hand.]
Oh, Oh, Oh! My finger’s bleeding. Oh, Oh, Oh!

ALICE
What is the matter? Have you pricked your finger?

WHITE QUEEN
I haven’t pricked it yet—but I soon shall—Oh, Oh, Oh!

ALICE
When do you expect to do it?

WHITE QUEEN
When I fasten my shawl again; the pin will come undone. Oh, Oh!
[Pricks her finger and smiles.]
That accounts for the bleeding, you see; now you understand the way things happen here.

Source: Excerpted and adapted from
A Dramatization of Lewis Carroll's
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass
By Alice Gerstenberg
By Alice Gerstenberg, from A Dramatization of Lewis Carroll's “Alice's Adventures in Wonderland” and “Through the Looking Glass,” Gutenberg.org